Lately I’ve been thinking about standards, specifically ascribing accountability differently depending on likability and respect, so I was interested to see how the public would react to Louis CK’s admitted misconduct.
It’s really easy to expect strangers to uphold to moral standards, it’s much harder to hold people whom you like and respect to those same moral standards. Good people can do really shitty things. That doesn’t necessarily mean you stop loving them, but you ought to hold them accountable. That doesn’t mean you destroy them. Depending on the situation, atonement is possible and helps everyone grow and move on. But they have to be held up to those standards. Otherwise it normalizes that behavior and silences those harmed.
Seems, at least in my immediate radar, people are generally disgusted by CK’s behavior.
Not to jump too much, but I’ve been thinking about it also in the context of American politics. Politicians, especially those of your own party, should be held accountable. Additionally, poor behavior on “your” side is not excusable when you deem the “other side” worse. Whatever your party, when your politician does something gross or negligible-rather than pointing to the other side as worse-hold your own accountable.
For me, growing up with depression had a huge impact on my abilities to express myself in a clear way.
It was like my thoughts were drowning in the middle of a stormy ocean fighting to make their way to the surface to catch painful breaths, only to be thrown back down to fight again.
That time and constant struggle has passed. However, I go between two ways of thinking about the present:
On good days, I feel as though I’ve found a safe surface and I’m learning to breathe.
On difficult days, it feels as though I’ve given up on the struggle to come up to the surface; I have peacefully accepted that I’m going to drown.
Thankfully, the good days are more frequent and rigorous than the difficult ones.
I’m also grateful that even on those bad days, it’s not burdened chaos. I’m lucky in that my depression was related to my environment; for me it’s behavioral rather than biochemical.
Know that everyone deals with their struggles in different ways. Find comfort in knowing we universally share similar experiences-like joy or depression-but how you experience those things and the methodology of coping may be different than others.
For some the road may be harder than others but you can’t control that. What you can control is how you deal with it.
It may be a little scary in that there’s no clear prescribed path or “cure” to follow, but I’d put it to you that it is also liberating. Don’t give up if one method doesn’t work for you. It may be that other roads will.
I hope your road will be an easy one. If not, I hope you find the strength to get through and enjoy the journey.